Prayer Power

I strongly suspect that if we saw all the difference even the tiniest of our prayers to God make, and all the people those little prayers were destined to affect and all the consequences of those effects down through the centuries, we would be so paralyzed with awe at the power of prayer that we would be unable to get up off our knees for the rest of our lives.

- Peter Kreeft, "Angels (and Demons)"

Embracing The Cross - A Meditation

We look upon the cross, and see a hideous instrument of unspeakable torture.

The heavy tree which was borne upon bloody shoulders, shoulders once wet with the tears of the many sorrowful who cried upon them and found comfort. Shoulders upon which little children were borne, upon which angels danced, upon which the weight of the world was carried.

A wooden beam to which was nailed hands that blessed those who sought, comforted those who mourned, and healed those who suffered. Hands that set the stars up in the sky, sculpted valleys amidst the highest mountains, and shaped the smallest detail of every living thing.

A blood-stained reminder of the evil men can do to each other, and to their God.

We look upon the cross, and we remember that, once upon a Friday more than two thousand years ago, the most terrible thing took place: the loving Creator was killed by those He created.

And yet, because we gather here in faith, we look upon the cross, and remember the most beautiful gift to mankind. We behold the instrument of the greatest love that was, is, or will ever be.

Jesus Christ, Almighty Lord and God, Creator of the Universe, the Great I Am, could have rejected the pains and sufferings of the cross before Him. He could have chosen not to be subjected to the brutality unleashed upon His earthly body, and instead return to His heavenly home without a second thought for His persecutors.

Yet He embraced the cross; He bore the weight of what no other person on earth could carry. He willingly took upon Himself the sins of an ungrateful world, no matter how much pain He had to endure, no matter if it cost Him His very life. And, by freely offering Himself as a sacrifice in the worst tragedy ever witnessed, He brought about the greatest good the world has ever known: the eternal salvation of mankind.

As we look upon the instrument of our salvation, let us remind ourselves of the crosses that each of us must bear. Let us think of the sufferings we may be experiencing, the burdens we find difficult to carry.

What is my cross?

Do I reject it? Do I run from it? Or do I, like the Lord, embrace it with the same faith that my own sufferings and self-denial will, in the end, bring about the greatest good I can offer in this life?

We contemplate the cross upon which our Savior redeemed us, and trust that our acceptance of our own crosses unites us to the Lord’s sufferings as He carried His cross to Calvary. The closer and more intimately I embrace my cross, the closer I am to what the Lord Jesus must have endured to win my freedom, and the more intimately I understand His immeasurable love for me.

25 March 2005

Father Edgar asked me to write this meditation to precede the Veneration of the Cross last Good Friday. Binx read it in lieu of the homily while Boyet played the guitar in the background. The little church was jampacked, but you could hear a pin drop as the congregation reflected on the Lord's great sacrifice. Afterwards, everyone silently lined up to kiss the instrument of our Salvation - it was difficult to hold back tears as even the older, weaker members of the community started to approach the cross on their knees. Truly, we are not worthy...but apparently He believed otherwise, and who are we to argue with that? :-)

Holy Week Thus Far

Hard to believe that it's already been three days since we left Manila for Kabayan. Funny how time flies with the right company, in the right environment. And yet the hours, even as they while away so swiftly, seem to be better spent up here in the mountains than in the city. Undistracted by the petty demands of the metropolis, you have time to concentrate on the essential things in life - watching the sun set and the ricefields and trees turn from green to brown, building relationships and making new friends, praying without interruption (pray-all-you-want). Just lying in bed, alone with your thoughts and the sound of rain falling on the roof is a pleasure in itself.

Even now, on this brief visit to Baguio (there is thankfully no phone or internet connection in Kabayan - even the satellite dish system in the convent is down, yahoo...heh heh), the littlest pleasures are magnified into tremendous blessings. The warm company of a dear resident sister, the generosity and hospitality of friends, the promise of a new experience at tomorrow's Chrism Mass...and that's only Holy Week thus far. Tomorrow we go back to Kabayan (funny how a 5 hour trip over treacherous and dusty mountain roads isn't any hassle at all - so far we've logged 10 hours back and forth!) to remember Christ's Passion and glorious Resurrection in a place that is starting to feel so much like "home," and with people who are beginning to feel so much like family.

Until then. :-)

Smart But Silly

I didn't write this, but I very well might have...every single word rings true for me. Sometimes we're too "smart" for our own darn good, and our convoluted reason clouds our sprouting faith. Then God steps in, and oh so very lovingly makes us see exactly how silly we've been.

"A decisive moment in my journey in faith came when, one day, seemingly out of nowhere, the thought pierced me that Jesus had died for my sins. And, immediately on its heels, came the devastating recognition that I am not worth his sacrifice. Only gradually have I come truly to understand that the determination of worth belongs not to me but to him. God’s love for us forever exceeds our control and challenges our understanding. Like faith, it is His gift, and our task is to do our best to receive it. The knowledge, even when partial and imperfect, that He loves us also opens us to new responsibilities and obligations. For if He loves us all, He also loves each of us. And recognition of that love imposes on us the obligation to love one another, asking no other reason than God’s injunction to do so. As fallen human creatures, we are nonetheless likely to continue to search for human reasons that justify our loving service to those in whom we find little or no obvious redeeming value. And the best human reason may be found in the faith that God has freely given us: our nonjudgmental love of the other remains the condition of God’s love for us. For, knowing how little we merit His love, our best opening to the faith that He does lies not in the hope of being better than others, but in the security that His love encompasses even the least deserving among us."

- Elizabeth Fox-Genovese, "A Conversion Story"

The Current

It’s been a long time – too long, I think - since I’ve been underwater, but all the basics of SCUBA diving are still fresh in my memory. Not surprising, since my dive instructor taught me well. And in this ocean of life, we’ve been fortunate enough to have come under the tutelage of a pretty good Instructor – the best there is – as well, a Teacher who has valuable lessons on sinking and swimming, of the importance of keeping your head above the waves, and even on walking on water and going out into the deep. And since both instructors are excellent educators on the art of survival, some of the lessons they teach are invariably the same – albeit applicable in different contexts.

Like one rule I learned early on: don’t fight the current.

According to Drill Sergeant Dive Instructor Sir!, there are three ways to deal with the current. Fight it, in which case you end up with a massive headache afterwards, not to mention using up all your air from hyperventilation – not a very good idea. Stay low, hold on to something firm, and let the current wash over and pass you by…after which you can proceed with your dive plan when the waters have stilled.

Or – and this is my favorite alternative – go with the flow, and simply let yourself be swept away. Submit to the whims of the current, allowing yourself to helplessly tumble every which way it leads you. Although you may not know exactly where it’s taking you, enjoy “flying” through the exhilarating ride while you’re at it… just like the turtledude Crush and his buddies did on the East Australian Current (totally known as the “EAC”). And eventually, the current will take you to calm – although sometimes strange – waters.

When life’s currents are raging against us, our natural tendency is to fight against them; to struggle and throw ourselves directly in the path of most resistance, hoping that we will prevail against the motion of the tides. And yet by doing so, we oftentimes end up doing more harm than good. Struggling against the current is like grappling with God: you know you will never prevail, even if your will wins out in the end. Oswald Chambers once said that if you wrestle with God simply because He is working in a way that doesn’t meet with your approval, you force Him to put you out of joint…and, like Jacob, to be crippled for the rest of your life (Genesis 32:24-25). Truly, by fighting against God’s currents, we refuse to acknowledge that His thoughts are above our thoughts, and that His ways are above our ways (Isaiah 55:9).

Fighting against the current – literal or figurative - almost always leads to debilitation and disaster. It is far better to keep our heads down and hold on to the firm foundation of our God’s promises, while He calms the raging seas that are crashing upon us, and then to proceed on our course when He signals “OK.” Or, even better, to LET GO and let Him direct the tides – even if they might seem frighteningly overwhelming, even if we know they will take us to a destination different from that on our “dive plans,” even if they eventually take us into the strange waters of the deep. As long as the Dive Master of our lives is in charge, riding the current can be the most exciting experience. And we are promised that calm waters are never very far ahead. For after all, He’s a totally awesome Duuude. ;-)

SCUBADudong (a.k.a. my best friend Neyney) still gives lessons. So does our other Instructor – although in His case, it helps a lot to read the Manual too.

7 January 2004

I Was In Lethargy, Baby...

It's a weird feeling not to step out of the house the whole day (I actually thought I'd literally "step out" when I needed to get something from the car I'd parked on the street, but found that they'd moved it into the garage sometime this morning...so technically, I haven't been "out of the house" at all!). I actually had some stuff planned - nothing too important, so I was all ready to head out and then...

Blah. Katamad. I couldn't do very much this morning other than surf (or should I say paddle) the Net, reply to a few texts, talk to a friend on the phone (after making him call back because I was too lazy to even talk when he first called!), and stare at the TV. I even ended up ditching the whole idea of going to the Center for the Wednesday feeding, and, later in the afternoon, managed to convince my Mom that it was too warm to go to Chinatown and that I'd drive her tomorrow instead.

And the lethargy continues. Another friend wants to watch a DVD tonight, and I still haven't had the heart to say I'm too tamad to come over (besides, he bought a Hollywood movie I have no intention of seeing, heh heh). Speaking of which, I have a backlog of around 12 (non-Hollywood!) DVDs but I'm too lazy today to entertain guests or concentrate on reading the subtitles. Just now a law-student friend was looking to unwind before finals - and I couldn't even muster up the usual energy and enthusiasm to do that. Sigh. I feel terribly unproductive...and downright useless!

Maybe it's because it's around "that" time of the month; maybe I'm in recovery from what Gari so aptly calls "binge"-ing. It seems like activity - service, social, social-service (!) - has been non-stop over the last several weeks, and I haven't had much time to recuperate. I remember a time not too long ago when I had one day a week just to myself - to read, to pray, to rest, to sleep, to do exactly what I felt like doing (which was usually sleeping, heh heh) - when I withdrew from the world for just a little while and regained my bearings. "A little while" is the key phrase...I also remember a time when I took this "lethargy" to a dangerous extreme and ended up being cooped up in a Chicago apartment for "a long while," sleeping and watching trash TV like Jerry Springer and ElimiDate. But "a little while" is good.

While I was typing this I suddenly thought about another Person who liked to "withdraw" by Himself for "a little while"...and He usually did so before and/or after the momentuous events of His ministry. After His baptism in the Jordan, and before embarking on His public ministry. After feeding thousands throught the miracle of the loaves and fishes, and before walking on water to meet His disciples. After healing many at Capernaum, and the leper in Judaea. After washing his followers' feet and leaving them His Body and Blood, and before His Passion and crucifixion.

"It becomes a rhythm of his life: minister to the people and then withdraw to pray and talk to his Father. The disciples see his prayer life and remember. Gradually -- and especially after his ascension -- they learn to pray the same way. Jesus' rhythm needs to be our rhythm, too. Pray and do, pray and minister." (The Will To Make Lepers Whole, Dr. Ralph F. Williams)

This "lethargic" tiredness has some value, after all. Withdrawal from the busy-ness of service and socials and social-service need not be "unproductive," for, if there is anything we can do, anywhere we are, no matter how hyperactive or unenergetic we may feel, it is to pray...and that's what I think I'll do in just a bit. It may be - in fact, I'm pretty sure it is - the most useful thing I'll ever do today.

Besides, I'm a little excited to think about what "momentous event" will be coming up after this "little while" away. :-)

Mercy

Over the last several days, God's recurring "theme" has been that of Mercy, and how infinite indeed is the ocean of His merciful love! I finally got to hear the entirety of the conversion account of one of my favorite preachers, Father John Korapi, and it left me in tears (par for the course). The magnificence of God's transformative love never fails to move me, especially when I think about how He has likewise trained that radiant beam of love and mercy upon my wretched life. I don't think it was any coincidence that, later that week, I too would have the opportunity to once again witness to His saving Grace. And I felt His love so warmly from the direction of the brothers and sisters who listened, most of them for the first time, to how He changed my life so amazingly. The expression of His love was most evident as well from the "cheering squad" in the back, all of whom I love so very dearly and who love me back as well - Jas and Melo, Amats (and Day, in spirit!) Johanna (LG), Boyet a.k.a. "Robert," Ojie, my AGL Tina (who knows exactly how *swak* the entire Mass and everything the priest said was at this particular point in my life), and of course from everyone else who was there that evening.

Last Sunday's Gospel was also one of mercy - the account of Jesus and the Samaritan adulteress at Jacob's well. He knew all she had done, and yet loved her and offered her the satisfaction only true love could bring - the true love she had been looking for all her life. John 4 is one of my favorite passages in scripture because it is essentially MY love story...I found the One Love I was looking for when He drew near me despite what I had done and told me that He loved me, for who I was, nonetheless. And I've found that nothing and no one satisfies like He does. Solo Dios basta. :-) Naturally, when Bo Sanchez's talk this afternoon dwelt once again on God's mercy as expressed in John 4, the tears of joy freely fell once more (I've quit bringing tissues to The Feast; what's the point, when I never have enough anyway!)

The tearduct activity intensified even more when Bo talked about the redeeming, merciful love of Hosea for his harlot of a wife, and when Rinka Romero started singing about how incredible such unconditional love is, a love that readily gave up everything else just to buy back a traitorous heart. This was the expression the Lord chose to demonstrated His own love, the unbelievable love of a God who would later allow Himself to be crucified and to give up everything, even His life, just to win back His incorrigibly errant and ungrateful children. Good thing that Oman is used to my submission to the wonderful gift of tears (and boy, have I been extremely gifted!) because I almost used his shirt to blow my nose.

Finally, just this evening, I watched Mother Angelica talk about the Lord's mercy towards another female sinner, and mention another verse from scripture that is also close to my heart. In Luke 7, she is described only as a woman known as a sinner, who wept at the Lord's feet, wiped away her own tears with her hair, and anointed His feet with expensive ointment(in the other Gospels, she is identified as Mary, sister of Martha, the same Mary who by tradition is also the Magdalen, the adulteress the Lord refuses to condemn and thereby saves). Jesus counters the Pharisee's self-righteousness through the very brief parable of the two debtors being forgiven their debts - one had a bigger debt than the other. At the end of it, He explains the meaning of the story - and the meaning of my renewed life in His service - indeed, the more we have been forgiven, the more we love the One who forgives. In my case, He has forgiven much. :-)

Praise God for His Mercy and His Love! As I like to say...yahoo!