Freaky Friday

And I used to tell other people that they needed to start saying "No."

Friday was such a mess that I can't even believe I got through it alive. Not a mess mess because I got to do everything I needed to do anyway, but I had one whacked-out schedule that just kept me in a tailspin from the minute I got out of bed until I fell back into it 20 hours later.

Late to school again despite rushing through my morning beauty rituals (although I had to change outfits a couple of times...argh). Plow through class, manage to put together a late-breaking quiz I'd forgotten I was supposed to give, then rush out to next job...as Mom's trusty "chauffeur." But before that, a little lunch at the Center to see if there is anything I need to get done - break away just as Kuya about to volunteer my services to our new househunting French volunteer. Off to take Mom to the mall - have phone fixed (again!) while at it - and spend a couple of hours trailing her around and trying to give good advice on interior decoration. Hurry back home to revise and e-mail copy of new project an ad/graphic agency is bidding for, finish up just in time to leave for an extended family dinner in Banaue. Chew, chew, swallow, line up at buffet, repeat two times...rush back home again to work on another copy study for same agency (kah, kah, kah...). Finish at almost 2 in the morning. Crawl into bed to die. Oops...can't die yet; it's Saturday again and Ate Ganda needs to resurrect from the sleep of the dead and be up and at it really early.

Needless to say, late Saturday afternoon the only thing I wanted to do was to go back to bed and sleep it all off. Just as I turned onto the corner of Tandang Sora, I had a blessed realization: the kind of exhaustion I experienced the whole day of Friday (there was nothing else I wanted to do but take a nap at 11 am, 2 pm, 5 pm, and 11:30 pm but duty kept calling!) was from that kind of hellish pressure that always leaves me thinking, "What the heck am I doing this for?!" It's the familiar emotional and physical assault that wreaks havoc on your general well-being and preys on your spiritual health (I did not even have time for prayer time in the morning...much less say more than a sleepy "Thank You" before turning in). It's exactly the kind of day that precedes a resignation letter on the boss' desk the next day (man, I should know).

And what the heck was I doing this for? For myself, mainly. For money, for family, for me. No wonder I wanted to quit. I was doing all this for the wrong reasons, and the combination of everything I did on Friday was something I wouldn't want to keep doing the next day, and the next, and the next...

But my Saturdays are different. And my Thursdays. My Wednesday afternoons and evenings, my Tuesdays, my "normal" Fridays... Hmm. I'm even more exhausted on those days - Thursday means waking up early after preparing a talk and/or worship to travel to Montalban and conduct a prayer meeting and then cook lunch and spend time with the household kids and then perhaps prepare for Thursday prayer group...which ends up way into the night. Tuesday is Quiapo day and He Cares council meeting day and then, if it's a good Tuesday, street ministry night... Wednesday is CLS night, and Saturday, wow...Saturday is the most intoxicating toxic day of all. What the heck am I doing all this for?

Let me rephrase the question. "Who in heaven am I doing all this for?"

The same Person who allows me the privilege of doing many of the same exhausting things and running on the same tiring schedule day after day, the strength to do it all in His name, and the grace of looking forward to the next working day in His vineyard.

And therein lies the difference. Thank you, Father. I'm going to try to do every little thing for You, every day. Save me from the other "reasons" that keep me from doing Your work and Your will; save me from me!