Keeper of My Heart

On August 26, 2003, I gave God a part of me I'd previously held back from giving. I'm sure that I believed it was an eminently practical decision on my part, because I could no longer trust myself when it came to matters involving that particular part of my being, but I gave Him my heart. Lock, stock, and barrel - to do with as He pleased. I granted Him sole occupancy for a certain period of time, after which He'd be warden and gatekeeper, with the absolute prerogative of letting anyone in or out (talk about passing the buck). The "sole occupancy" issue wouldn't be resolved until - according to a journal I was keeping at the time - four long months (!) after the execution of the contract; in the meantime, He and I had to kick out some unwanted tenants who weren't paying their dues as well as squatters who had unlawfully entered through stealth and subterfuge (haha). But what a wonderful thing it was to wake up on the morning of December 8, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, and finally say, with all sincerity...there is NONE but You, ONLY You! I remember a joy unlike any other; a brother-in-Christ, my dearest confidant throughout this particular chapter of my Love Story, said that the joy certainly showed! The designated period of "sole occupancy" passed, but I still held Him to His appointment as sentry and watchman over the fortress of my heart (with apologies to Sting).

Today I kind of "asked" Him how his gatekeeping duties were going; after all, He still has absolute control over whoever enters that once-ravaged, still-fragile region. I asked Him if He had finally allowed anyone in.

His answer was tremendous. All this time, I've left the door open and let in anyone who wanted to enter!

And He reminded me of the hundreds of people who I have met in the last months since I gave Him guard duty over my heart - the people I have been called to love on this mission He has set me on, the brothers and sisters in Christ who I have had the pleasure to travel this road with, some of His children whom I once thought were unlovable but who now occupy some of the most sensitive compartments of my heart.

As I continued to talk to Him in tearful prayer about it, He "asked" me: Did you think that I would lock the door and keep it secure from all trespassers? That wouldn't be like Me!

Come to think of it, He did exactly what I should have expected Him to do. Keep the door open. He doesn't promise that those who gain access won't wreak any havoc while they're in there, but hey, that's the way He "secures" His own Heart, and I always ask for the grace to love like He loves, right?

As I was trying to process these soul-stirring revelations, I had one more practical concern: Lord, if this keeps going, how are they all going to fit?

Ah My child, now We have to talk about plans for expansion...

Uh-oh. :-)