Consolation

There is nothing quite as joyful as consolation, when God is so very near and so undoubtedly present before you. These very brief glimpses into what Heaven must be like - to bask in the loving presence of the Eternal Father - are what sustain us on this difficult pilgrimage.

"Consolation," St. Ignatius wrote in his Spiritual Exercises, is when "the soul is aroused by an interior movement which causes it to be inflamed with love of its creator and Lord, and consequently can love no created thing on the face of the earth for its own sake, but only in the Creator of all things."

My journey Home, while only fairly recently undertaken, has been spectacularly highlighted by a handful of consolation experiences - the breathtaking landmarks along the difficult, narrow road that make it worth the effort to get up and press on, and which unmistakably point us in the right direction. It had been quite some time since the last "landmark," and for the last month or so I'd been praying for the grace of knowing God's will with respect to the mission He'd given me on one previous "landmark," as well as some other matters I needed His guidance and direction on. I began to approach Him about these things on a retreat right after Christmas, but still He told me to wait, and to listen...He'd "call me back" about them.

He finally called yesterday, with a Grand Canyon of a landmark, on two of the most important questions I had been asking Him. I begged for the grace of His affirmation, confirmation, and reassurance, and I received it the same day in full measure, which added further to my joy.

The Lord asked me, once again, how much I loved Him. Would I still, like I had once promised, do anything He asked? And would I continue to ask for more of Him and to do more of His will? And my tired heart was filled with that kind of love for the Creator that St. Ignatius was talking about - a love directed upwards, that spills over to all created things below not because these things are lovable in themselves, but because of the One who created them. Before the tabernacle, in the Presence of His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, I was overwhelmed at His own joy at my reply.

I will always love You and only You before any other, more than any other.

Bago ang lahat, Higit sa lahat.

And He said: finally, at long last, you got it. With the most loving "embrace" He could give me, He set me back on a path I thought I did not want to tread, because I had fallen on it too many times. What lies in wait is yet to be seen, but, when it comes to "landmarks," He has never done me wrong so far. :-)

Bago ang lahat, Higit sa lahat!