Lists

Reading CC's other blog today reminded me of my own list of the things I'd like to accomplish in my lifetime. Through God's incomprehensible grace, I've managed to get many things off my "to do" column into "done!" and was cheered to see that I've already done 152 things as opposed to the 36 things I'd still like to do.

I'm a big list-maker: it's part of my peculiar brand of obsessive-compulsiveness and a huge help in relieving the ka-ngaragan (i.e., stress. "Ngarag? Is that Tagalog?" - Alan S.)I like to subject myself to. Hmm. Over-achieving obsessive-compulsive masochist - Dr. Phil would have a field day.

But anyway. I usually start my day in a mad rush, stressing out about all the many things I need to do right before I get started on doing them, and listing them down once I get to the office or to the nearest laptop creates relative calm out of the chaos (God knows how many times I've begged Him to take control of my schedule, and He always pulls through - this list thing is just one of the things I've been given to cope!).

But the thing is, life, just like the working day, is not just about lists. All those plans and goals and "To-Do's" look good in writing, but they're just about as worthless as the paper they're written on if you don't get down to doing what you're supposed to do. National Geographic Adventure's motto is one of the battlecries I've chosen to live by: "Dream it. Plan it. Do it." DO it. Dream as much as you want, plan as much as you want - the listing down of "To-Do's" is part of that, not to mention the prayer that goes with the list - but all of that is a waste of precious time and God-given talent if you don't actually DO.

Someone I was once close with had big - HUGE - fantastic dreams and drew up such grandiose, knock-you-off-your-feet plans. But never, ever really got around to DOING very much - and even when he did, it was without dreaming and/or planning. Nowadays I get so frustrated at such lack of determination and direction, maybe perhaps that's exactly the state I'd have ended up were it not for the grace of God. I get so worked up about this senseless squandering of valuable time and talent because it represents my own greatest fear in this life: purposelessness. Because life's not about drawing blueprints and pretty plans and good intentions. Life is all about DOING all those many things you've dreamed and planned. Life is about waking up.

So do it, doggone it, DO IT! Grrr.