The Potter (no relation to Harry) At Work

I think it was Lex I was talking to about the writer's discipline of practicing the "craft" regularly, and blogs like this allow you to do just that. Even though you don't have much to blog about...well, actually at this point I do, but the ideas evade verbal capture and tonight my mind and body and soul are a little too exhausted to give chase.

Which is why I originally intended to post my ramblings in my other blog, which contains my less "refined" reflections. And although this entry is spiritual, it's a little too haphazard for my liking so I somehow feel I shouldn't be "dumping" it here. But may I give glory to God nonetheless!

Been experiencing a considerable amount of warfare lately. I'm a little reluctant to disclose much, since I need to talk to a particular person about much of it before I go "public" but I can say that it's not been fun (duh). It's ironic that my exhortation at this week's Montalban prayer meeting was on the Potter's benevolent omniscience and the greatness of His design for our lives; of the Master Gardener's purpose in pruning us, sometimes painfully, that we may bear fruit; of the Sculptor's unsurpassed skill in shaping us into something more beautiful that we could ever imagine, even as He chips and chisels away at the unwanted edges of our lives. In fact, I realize belatedly that that kind of refinement, the passing through the fires of purification, is exactly what I've been going through the last few days. But as I told my friend Daniel, the future Cardinal, it's a blessing, brought about by being in the shelter of God's wings, to know that spiritual challenges - while thrown before us by the enemy - are allowed by our Father that we may increase our faith and our capacity and eventually bring about, in the long run, more good than bad (fortunately, the enemy is shortsighted, but our God can see the whole picture and how what momentarily seems "bad" will ultimately turn out for our own good, Romans 8:28 of course). And thank God that we are well aware of these things when they happen! No wonder the Spirit was insistent on Ephesians 6:10-20.

A little counseling from a good Christian friend, who has for more than a year been my soundingboard (and vice versa) for spiritual difficulties, helped to set things straight, but on the way to the Center this morning, God Himself gave me a monumental grace that allowed me to see the reason behind these challenges. It was so overwhelming and majorly radical that I was both surprised that I didn't see it coming and extremely happy that He focused on one of my weakest spots and gave it His strengthening attention (as Bishop Sheen said, "scar tissue is the strongest layer of skin.") Now I just have to put it into practice, and I can't say how eager I am to do so, with the newfound freedom from walls the Lord had to knock down through this trying experience! What exactly He said I will share once I've had the opportunity to actually try it out. In other words, this chapter is to be continued...

In the meantime, in His amazing sense of timing, this was playing on my CD changer when His blessed realization hit (I can remember exactly which portion of Cenacle Drive in Sanville - right after the gas station and before the pink house - He made His purpose known). Truly, Lord, the way You are moving in my life and changing me, whenever I become someone better than the person I once was, "it's not the 'I' but the 'You' in me."

Not The I But The You In Me
Anointed

You have walked into my life
You have painted all my dreams
‘Til the color of your love is the color of me
You can look into my heart
And You can read my mind
You can read about Yourself in between the lines

Every good thing I have done
Everything that I’ve become
Everything that’s turned out right
Is because You’re in my life
And if I ever teach a child the way
Ever learn myself to change
Ever become who I want to be
It’s not the I but the You in me.

You have looked into my eyes
You have seen what I am
But still, You’re by my side
Telling me I can
And there are times I’ve caused you pain
And times I’ve made mistakes
Somehow You used them all to make the I you made

Every good thing I have done
Everything that I’ve become
Everything that’s turned out right
Is because You’re in my life
And if I ever teach a child the way
Ever learn myself to change
Ever become who I want to be
It’s not the I but the You in me.

And if I ever wondered for a hundred, thousand years
I would never understand
How You’re in me
And I’m in You
And You could say
You are the reason why I am