Out of Kilter, Back on Track

Post-Kabayan once again, and back in the city. This day was a little out of sorts because I didn't get a chance to engage in my morning prayer time - Snaps had the alarm go off at 5:30 a.m., and before I knew it, the next time I woke up was at 8:45, with just enough time to hit the shower before going off to shop.

So tonight, with finally some time alone, I entered into the stillness of His Presence and listened. Over the last few days, there have been several dozen emotions and concerns welling up to the surface - a strange agitation I am not quite used to. But interior disturbances like this could be a sign of growth - in a different direction perhaps - and as I entered into prayer, I came across these lines in Sacred Space: "These moments when we are knocked off our balance, out of our routine, are potentially entry points for grace. Lord, you have done the same to me on occasion, thrown me out of kilter...They are not moments I like to dwell on; but when I do think of them, I can see you there, calling me closer to you."

I think that uncertainty in some of the key aspects of my life is to blame for my present state of mind; there are many little distractions that keep me from concentrating on the essential and on the certitude of His promises. Tonight, I found myself asking Him to free me from the pretty yet trifling diversions of the world that take my attention away from the path He has put me on...and He reminded me that He, indeed, is the one who grounds me. I found His reassurance in both today's reading from 2 Corinthians 1:18-22, as well as today's Gospel, one of my favorite set of verses from Matthew (5:13-16).

"As surely as God is faithful, our word to you has not been Yes and No. For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we preached among you, Silva'nus and Timothy and I, was not Yes and No; but in him it is always Yes. For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why we utter the Amen through him, to the glory of God. But it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has commissioned us; he has put his seal upon us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee."

"You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trodden under foot by men. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a bushel, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

Finally, Chambers confirmed all these messages in today's reflection about focusing on the one integral and central point: "Am I abiding? Am I taking the time to abide? What is the greatest source of power in my life? Is it my work, service, and sacrifice for others, or is it my striving to work for God? It should be none of these— what ought to exert the greatest power in my life is the atonement of the Lord. It is not on what we spend the greatest amount of time that molds us the most, but whatever exerts the most power over us. We must make a determination to limit and concentrate our desires and interests on the atonement by the Cross of Christ."

May He give me the grace to do just that!