Take Me Back

The one great fear I have in my relationship with the Lord is that I somehow stray from His sight - or, rather, to stray so far that I fail to see Him clearly (if at all). I am so afraid of this very real possibility that I have prayed, begged - I think for as long as I've had a regular prayer time - that I be given the grace to always sit at His feet and look upon His face; to be so close to Him that I can almost hear His heart beat. I have no doubt now that He has heard and always heeded this constant, desperate plea - how else to explain the surprising immediacy of those gentle and not-so-gentle reminders every time I start to veer course? His response to my transgressions is lightning-fast; I give praise to Him who has never allowed me to wallow too long in the muck of iniquity! And when I say "never too long," I mean He douses me with His heavenly hose and sets me on the right path again in a matter of days, sometimes even hours. And then He takes my hand firmly in His, and walks with me until I unfortunately get distracted again; even then, all it takes is a stern - but loving - tug from Him and my attention (oftentimes!) is focused back on Him.

The last couple of days had been a little blah on the Relationship (with God) Richter scale; I've been a little self-indulgent, self-centered, and selfish. But once again, before I went off distractedly wandering into miseries of my own creation, He called me back very quickly, sat me at His feet, and so very tenderly reminded me to keep my gaze focused on my Lord and my All. I detest the ugliness of my humanity, I said. I made you, and you are one of my most beautiful creations, He replied. For you are made in My own image, and I see nothing ugly in what I myself have made. You may be a little dirty, perhaps, but I'll take care of that.

He always takes care of that, Praise Him. :-) Tonight, after a good Father-daughter bonding session, I read an article by one of my favorite Catholic authors, Peter Kreeft. This is a wonderful read, and, if you follow it up with this song by Anointed, you're likely to be back on track, looking into His eyes as He lovingly looks into yours, and begging Him to take you back to the time you fell in love. :-)

TAKE ME BACK
Anointed

I don't love you like I used to
when nothing came between my God and me
And somehow it seems
I've lessened my dependence.
I wonder why it's not the way
it used to be.

But I'm ready to learn
how to faithfully love you
with my heart, my soul, my mind.
Take me back,
take me back to
the time I fell in love.

I don't serve you like I used to
'cause I'm too busy serving me
and I don't spend the time with you
I need to
and wonder why my soul
can not find peace.

But I'm ready to learn
how to faithfully serve you
with my hand, my life, my time.
Take me back,
take me back to
the time I fell in love.