Driving and Daddy's Day

Dear BBro,

Tonight, I start to blog. It's a little weird to write you a letter while allowing others to read thoughts and feelings that were meant primarily for you, but most of what I have to say is meant for sharing. Since it would be more strange to send a "Dear BB" letter via mass e-mail to people who take the time to read my humble reflections, or to send it through an e-group, a weblog seemed like the best alternative. My sister, who has always so generously lent her ear to many of my oral reflections (God and the occasional houseguest know all too well how often we've stayed up through the night until sunrise just talking about Him and His works - er, God, not the houseguest), encouraged me the other day to write all this stuff down for posterity. I am not a big journaller, because I often suffer from verbal over-expression once pen hits paper or index finger hits computer keyboard. But I shall attempt to share as much as I can through this marvelous medium.

Yesterday and today I did something I hadn't done for a very long time - I took a long drive on my own. Sometimes it really is the journey and not the destination. Long-distance, no-traffic driving is one of my most favorite things in the world...it "airs out" my mind and my soul. I'm a big fan of great driving conversations, but I often prefer solo flights. Today I was happy to be sans co-pilot...I could do whatever I want on the long drive home from Batangas to Manila. And do it I did. One of the setbacks of traveling for the magazine is that, more often than not, I have to share a hotel room and therefore compromise the privacy of prayer time (which often leaves me trying to make the best of the bathroom). Today was not an exception. But despite the semi-chaotic temporary accomodations, do you know how sweetly He woke me up? He spoke the words, "anak, anak," into my heart; and I suddenly remembered that it was Father's Day. Daddy's day. My Daddy was still back in the city but my Heavenly Abba couldn't wait to celebrate the day with me. It did not matter all of a sudden that I was sharing the room with two assistants - I had time enough to talk to Abba - Papa, Daddy - on the long drive home.

And so we talked, I shared my dreams with Him, He showed me some of His. I sang, I prayed, I praised, I cried; on His part, He made His creations - the skies, the trees, the landscape, the people on the way - appear all the more beautiful, as if I were seeing them through His eyes. It was such a day of total trust and devotion with Him as I let Him take me by my hand and do what He would with my day. Give a ride to two new friends I'd made so I'd have company on the drive back? Thumbs down, He wanted some quality time alone with me. Brief visit at the streetkids' shelter to drop off some pasalubong? Thumbs up; hurrah, the timing was so perfect that I was able to give it to my "favorite" little one as he was playing in front of the house. Shop at the mall for books for myself and to give away? Thumbs up. Parlor session to finally fix my eternal bad hair day? Thumbs down! Not today, He said. Mass at 4:00, or 5:30? He insisted on 6 pm Mass at a church other than that I'd planned, and for good reason (amazing celebration! My tears came out through my nose from my trying to contain them!). And so on and so forth. I let Him take total control of His day, and He did.

So why do I write you now and tell you all this? I remember that day when you were at camp in the US and you shared that e-mail to your Dad. It was one of the most wonderful things I'd ever read - not only because of the blessings it contained, but because of the natural instinct to share all these great things with one person you knew would perhaps even be happier than yourself...your Dad. I'm the same way with my Dad too, because I know that he will only be prouder, smile wider, and weep harder at all the good things that happen to his daughter. Now can you imagine how Our Father in heaven feels, every time we allow Him to take us from strength to strength? And, just like our earthly fathers, can you imagine how He feels whenever we give all these triumphs back to Him?

We are blessed to have wonderful dads who brought us up, who give us everything we need, who love us to pieces. But we are even more blessed to have a Father through whom our own fathers love, who will always take us back despite our wretchedness and rebellion and abuse, who will weep at our defeats and yet dry our tears and give us the strength to carry on, who so loved us that He sent His only son to suffer the most terrible tragedy the earth had ever witnessed.

And, it is because of and only through this wonderful, amazing, awesome, and almighty Father that you have become my beloved baby brother. And I will never cease thanking Him for you. No more tears, baby bro...God is good and all-knowing. I'll see you soon.